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Being hailed a hero for fixing the grandparents’ wifi

January 25, 2012

McSweeney’s, In Which I Fix My Girlfriend’s Grandparents’ WiFi and Am Hailed as a Conquering Hero:

The people did beseech the warrior to aid them. They were a simple people, capable only of rewarding him with gratitude and a larger-than-normal serving of Jell-O salad. The warrior considered the possible battles before him. While others may have shirked the duties, forcing the good people of Ferndale Street to prostrate themselves before the tyrants of Comcast, Linksys, and Geek Squad, the warrior could not chill his heart to these depths. He accepted the quest and strode bravely across the beige shag carpet of the living room.

You should definitely read the rest. The entire thing is great. And true. That is just how it happens. I speak from experience.

One Comment leave one →
  1. January 25, 2012 3:18 pm

    My favorite lines:
    “Weaker men would have lost their minds in the madness.”
    “He woke up Windows XP from sleep mode and deftly defeated twelve notifications to update Norton AntiVirus.”

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