It’s May and that means we are having a baby
We are having a baby sometime this month. I’ve always known he could come early, but I’ve just envisioned him coming on or after his due date (as most first babies do). So, until recently, it has been something way out in the future. I knew that it was going to happen, but it felt so far in the future that it has been tough to fully grasp.
But not anymore.
Now he is coming. This month. Guaranteed.
And that makes it real. Like – I’m constantly making sure the car is gassed up, the bag is all packed, and my phone is always on me – real.
Over the course of the last 9 months, many thoughts and emotions have run though my head. For the most part I have been extremely excited, but there has been a part of me that was scared. Not scared of labor or taking care of a baby, but scared of raising a person. It just seemed like such a daunting task. And still does. But over the course of the last week, I have realized how excited I am about being given the responsibility of raising him, because in doing so, I get to teach him all the things I wish I had known.
I get to teach him to find his identity in Christ. I get to point him towards Christ in every aspect of his life, teach him what it means to believe into Him, and that in Christ, he is a saint, not a sinner and that his life is actually Christ’s life, and because of that he doesn’t have to strive to become “like Christ”, because he already is. That because all of God lives in him, he has everything he could ever need. That believing in Christ is not about following a bunch of rules, commands, or regulations, but about following a person who is still alive.
I get to teach him critical thinking skills. About how to respect everyone and yet to be able to think critically about what they say and not to accept it just because they are in a position of authority.
And I get to teach him about how to treat women. This conversation a father will one day have with his son regarding this issue is exactly what I want to say to my son:
There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into. One view will say that women need to dress to get the attention of men. The other view will say women need to dress to protect men from themselves. Son, you are better than both of these. A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention. You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being. On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you. You need to be in control of you.
Unfortunately, much of how the sexes interact with each is rooted in fear. Fear of rejection, fear of abuse, fear of being out of control. In some ways, the church has added to this. We fear each other because we have been taught the other is dangerous. We’ve been taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin. We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things. Let’s be clear: a woman’s body is not dangerous to you. Her body will not cause you harm. It will not make you do stupid things. If you do stupid things it is because you chose to do stupid things. So don’t contribute to the fear that exists between men and women.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
I can’t wait to be able to have these conversations with my son.